Annual Conference Session of the CA-NV Conference of the United Methodist Church- Day 1

After a long drive from Humboldt County to Sacramento - taking about 6 1/2 hours instead of 5 hours 25 min, as stated on Google maps, due to driving 4 children and road construction - we all got to conference in perfect timing to drop off the kids at the child care. Rushing into the conference floor, I get to my seat in time to hear the Laity session. For those of you who don't know, the Laity is the body of the church - truly, the Laity IS the church.  If the Pastor is the shepherd, we are the sheep.

So, I suppose I should take time right now to state what our "theme" of conference is this year.

See what you have

See your neighbors too

So, it seems that really, the underlying theme is relationships. Relationships drives us all.

During our Laity session, we had the main guest speaker, Dr. Eric Law, talk to us about the 6 holy currencies - he spoke earlier in the morning, however I was not around yet. So here are some notes and insights that I gleaned from Dr. Law during his workshop session.

In the United Methodist Church, we have appointed "Lay Leaders" - do you know who your lay leaders are? At the Church of the Joyful Healer they are Mary Meyer, Hillarie Beyer and Chris Lehman. but there are more leaders in the church then the Lay Leaders. Everyone has the power to lead. As a Lay Member to Annual Conference, I too am a leader - but I'm also a leader through the activities I do at church. What is a sustainable leader? One who participates, shows something new (new ideas), uses music, helps others, and the list can go on and on.

So now, lets get into the nitty gritty about relationships. We have all heard about "Six degrees of separation" right? Well, there is also a concept called 3 degrees of influence. That means that if you do something, your friend is more likely to do that thing... as well as their friend, and their friends friend.  So, think about it in the context of a congregation. If we had 100 people in our congregation (by the way, our number is more like 200 - so just double these numbers!) and each person has 10 friends - that is 1000 people who are influenced! What if each of those people had 10 friends?? That's 10,000 people! And then 10 friends for each of them - 100,000 people! Oh my goodness! We have incredible influence in what we do with those around us. Think of it for just one person - my example will be myself. If I have 10 friends who have 10 friends who have 10 friends, I'm influencing 1000 people with one action! That is pretty powerful!

Lets talk now about a couple of ideas about congregational relationships.  What if you have a congregation that is pretty tight loving - they take care of each other, they love each other - gee, that would be pretty awesome - for that congregational community. But what about a newcomer? How do they really get in? And then the opposite - a community that is so focused on community outreach - a new come comes in and they are welcomed... woo hoo. But what about if that person is truly in need - where are they going to rest? How are they gong to be nurtured? So of course, the best outcome is a little of both. A tight loving community that is also focused on Outreach - seems like we are talking about what I see at the Joyful Healer. :)

Talking more about relationships - we all know that it is so easy to relate well to those who are like us! It's a fact - if there is someone out there who likes music, works with children (or has children - especially boys close to my own sons age), who is close to my own age and who has similar thoughts as me (religiously, politically, etc) it is going to be a lot easier for me to relate to them. On the opposite end of the spectrum, it is harder for me to relate to someone who is older, maybe no children or someone who has different views on life than I do.

So I want to talk now about cultural make up, because this has so much to do with relationships.  We are all made up of many different cultural components. Culture is not just your race, your ethnicity. In a Social Work class at HSU that I took about 9 years ago, I learned that we not only have the culture we most identify with, but we also have a family culture as well. Here are some ideas of components of culture - but realize the list could go on!

age, gender, physical ability, mental ability, skin color, racial background, ethnic heritage, sexual orientation, marital status, geographical location, migration history, military experience, education, religion, profession, economic status, adoption, nationality, medical condition, theology, language

As we relate to those who are not much like us, we go through a process of adjustment. I wish I could draw the graphic we saw, but I'll do the best I can with what I got.

Expectations (we expect others to be like us, but they aren't) -------> this causes a reaction (anger, fear, confusion) - We can choose to react two ways - the first is to react negatively and withdraw (argue, attack, judge).  The second way is to become aware of our reactions (we react, there is nothing you can really do about a reaction, but you can be aware of the reaction ---> and as we are aware, our reaction subsides, we get more information and understand the culture of someone else. 

This is where day one ends... This day made me uncomfortable - and yet I loved it.  I know that there are many reactions I could take better care to be aware of in myself.