What is Love?

I would consider myself the black sheep of the family. I would say that I'm the most liberal of my family - though I wouldn't consider myself an extremist - I say that I run fairly left, but close to the middle of the road. I'm very grateful, however, for growing up with my family's point of view. It has shaped me more then anyone will ever know.

A little background: I grew up in Southern California. I would consider this place to be fairly racially and ethnically flavorful. I appreciated this. I'm a white girl, and when I say white, I'm white - I don't even tan well. My best friends were Korean and Bolivian. Many of my other friends were Hispanic (from Mexico mostly, but from other So. American countries as well), Filipino and African American. I felt that my parents always taught me to not look at the color of someone's skin - people are people, no matter what. This is the lesson I learned. I know this is the lesson they taught me, because of how they were raised. My grandparents were racist, and I learned that first hand when they met a few of my friends. I couldn't understand it - I didn't understand it until I was older, and realized some of the many things that shaped my grandparent's and my parent's generation. I'm not saying that this prejudice is OK - but I began to understand why it was there in the first place. It is because of my grandparents prejudice that my parents felt strongly against racism. I think it is because of my parents prejudices that I have been shaped against them as well.

I don't think we have completely won the battle on the racial field, but my generation has felt the equal rights battle on another field - sexual orientation. To me, this is not any different from our racial battles. I truly believe that, just like the color of our skin, one does not choose the gender you love, or what kind of love you feel inside the depths of your soul. I do believe you can choose to deny your love, ignore it, pretend that it isn't there, but who you are attracted to - that is something that you cannot choose - it is who you are. I also believe that this does not diminish the value of a person and that there should be no discrimination just because of who a person loves.

I'm ashamed to say that as I was growing up, I did not always listen to my heart in this area. I didn't have any gay friends, or so I thought. I was cruel, and I did make fun of people who "looked" gay, or "acted" gay. I have asked for forgiveness in this area many times, because I was stupid. I knew it was wrong - I wanted to "fit in" - with others around me, with what I saw my family doing as well. The first person I met who came out to me openly was when I was working at Girl Scout Camp. It was then that I realized how wrong I was before, and it was then that I started listening to my soul.

I later found out that a great many of my friends who I grew up with have come out. Does that change who they are? Well, perhaps  I do look at them differently - but its only because I admire them. I am so happy that they have been able to follow their heart and no longer deny who they were born to be, who God created them to be.

This area has been a part of my spiritual growth that I have struggled with. I truly believe that God loves everyone, no matter what. That God created everyone - and that means he created men who love men and women who love women. I know that in the bible there are bible verses that people will throw out at you to call homosexuality an abomination, or that it separates you from God. I can't help but feel that if the bible were written with what we know now, it would be different. I can't help but think that what is in the Bible is a testament of the time and culture in which it was written. I also cannot turn my head on the abundant chapters and verses that talk about God's Love - and if God loves you, it doesn't matter that you are a man, who loves a man.

So what is love? The dictionary states that "love" is a noun - an intense feeling of deep affection, and a verb- to feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone). Is love a lifestyle choice? No... love is something you FEEL - and you can't change that. I hope one day everyone will be able to recognize that just because someone loves another of the same sex that it doesn't mean that they are bad, an abomination, naive, rebellious, or any of the other things that is often said. And who am I to put rules or laws stating that they cannot love (or marry) someone of their choosing. I love what President Obama said at his 2nd inauguration - it has been ringing in my head since that day: "Our journey is not complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law - for if we are truly created equal, then surely the LOVE we commit to one another must be equal as well."

If you have read this far, please search your heart, do what we tell our children to do - put yourself in another mans shoes. Don't hate based on something that is unchangeable. Keep an open mind.