Willpower

Willpower = your willingness combined with divine inner power.

In my last post on Lent, I was contemplating what to give up. I decided on giving up Facebook. This is proving to be better then I imagined.

Hello, my name is April and I'm a facebookaholic - it has been 5 days since I have logged onto facebook, and every day is one step at a time. Literally. The first two days, not too bad. Yeah, I wanted to go online, see what people were up to, play a few games, but I know this is just a time waster, so I didn't do it. 4 days go by, and I realized I never told my mom that I was taking a break from facebook. She and I converse most of the time through facebook - I guess this means we have to call each other more, or email (I am not crazy... I didn't give up ALL my technological vises!).  So, I give mom a call, got read the riot act for not telling everyone this is what  I was doing, and then we had a decent chat. Yesterday, a kid from church was using the church computer to be on facebook (hm... I pretended not to see, even though this is one thing I desperately do NOT want our youth using the church computer for, so I need to have a conversation with her, but I decided to do this another day) - I heard that ever familiar bell that tells you someone is chatting with you... I want to go see who it is! But, it's NOT for me because I'm not on Facebook.  Today, I wake up and do my usually checking of email, and I didn't even think about logging on to Facebook. My willpower has won, for now.

Without this time-suck called facebook, I've gotten so much more done. My house, is CLEAN!  I read 150 pages of my book just on Sunday! And I miss my friends...

Facebook simultaneously has a way of keeping us connected and not connected at the same time. There are so many people that I only converse with on Facebook. I use the chat option a LOT with Facebook. Those friends haven't called me to see how I am - they don't seem to notice I'm not there, because facebook has SO much going on.  But then, I haven't really called them either. I have the time, but I've been filling it with other things so I won't go on facebook! 

40 days, plus Sundays, is a long time. Every time I think about Facebook, I feel like I should be doing some sort of prayer...am I not really doing this Lent thing right? I mean, isn't it supposed to be that by denying yourself something, it brings you closer to God? And if you are trying to have willpower, you need to somehow discover that divine inner strength to keep moving forward, right? 

This is what I have learned so far. I love Facebook, I miss Facebook, I HATE Facebook, I miss Facebook. I have chosen to give up this thing that I somehow seem to idolize for God, to God. What was it that was said yesterday at Church - we were supposed to commit it to memory - "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 - So this is something that I suppose I am learning. That I can give this up, and it is because I have willpower, but my willpower is stronger because of my faith. Lets see what the next few weeks, no... I mean the next day, has in store for me.