Weslyan Questions - #1

Every day, members of the John Wesley's Holy Club asked themselves 22 questions in their private, daily devotions. Funny thing is, these questions are startlingly relevant today. Well, I want to take a little time to reflect on each question. I'm sure these will kick my butt!


Question 1: Am I consciously, or unconsciously, creating the impression that I am better than I really am? In other words, am I a hypocrite?

No, I'm not a hypocrite... I'm just that awesome! -- ha ha... yeah right.
 
As I think on this question - my answer is most definitely YES. More unconsciously then consciously I'm sure - and also more because I have the best of intentions, just no follow through. In this area, I think more about my parenting.  There are some things that I know I've done right.  Bed time routine, for example, I nailed it right on the head. Other things, not so much. I see other kids get a bunch of screen time - their moms placing them in front of the TV for a movie, or to play video games. My favorite thing to say "Oh, I ONLY let my children have 30 min. a day of screen time. That is the recommended limit, after all." Reality - I'm a total hypocrite! Most school days my kids don't get a lot of time with screens, but 30 minutes? yeah right. That is so much easier said then done. An hour, or more, is more like it. 

Here is something I think about with this question spiritually - I am a Methodist. The Methodist slogan is Open Doors, Open Minds, Open Hearts (OK, maybe not in that order... I can't remember). I tell people that this is what I believe - but do I really? 

Open Doors - yes, I do believe in open doors. We should be a group of people who accept and welcome everyone! Then I started to think this - If someone, or a group of people, came in who looked as though they were obvious transients, would I welcome them? Well, at work, I do - because I have to. It's my job to be kind, and gentle. "How can I help you?" is my attitude. "Oh, I'm sorry to hear about your hard story" I say with a smile - give out food, phone numbers "sure, you can sit on the couch for a while out of the rain." - I would want someone to do the same for me, truly. Our church's extreme weather shelter is for people who are homeless, local or transient. Should I be open to them coming into my church for this necessity. I would be perfectly OK with helping them. Every person deserves respect and a chance to not freeze at night. I would welcome them. BUT, cue the exact same person, or group of people, coming into church on Sunday - I probably would not give them the time of day. I'm being honest here - if I saw the same sort of person come in, I would probably put up my radar, and I would be cautious. I would make sure my children steered away from this person - and I would probably watch these people like a hawk to make sure that they are being appropriate in the building. I most likely would not walk up to any of them and ask them how I could help them out, or if they needed help. I probably would not offer anything. I kind of don't like these thoughts. But if I'm being honest, take off my "Office Coordinator" hat and put on my "mama bear" hat, I don't want be "open" during my time in my safe church to someone that I obviously have a small wall in my brain against.

Open Minds - is my mind TRULY open to other people's points of view. I have always been able to see both sides of any issue - I often like to play devil's advocate. Thing is, just because I can see both sides doesn't always mean I can accept the other side as valid. Case and point - some conservative ways of thinking. While I can see their view on some issues like gun control or abortion, I cannot bring myself to accept their point of view. Sometimes, deep inside, I really feel they are wrong because they don't have the same view on some issues as I do. Outwardly, I may sound differently, even accepting of their point of view, because I don't want to cause any arguments - deep down I am different. It is one reason I do not talk politics with many of my friends and family. I have many conservative friends - and most of my natal family have conservative ideals. I learned to either say that I agree with them, and move on, or not talk about it at all. I have learned how to be the best hypocrite in this area.
 
Open Hearts - I feel that my heart is open - to all those who are in pain. I get a prayer request throughout my week - and I pray for everyone on the list - sometimes several times. I do not like knowing people are in pain. I probably would pray for the same transient people I listed above. I don't wish anyone ill will - and I'm being totally honest. 

Wow, when I started out with this questions, I didn't expect it to end like this. Now I need to decide what to do with my revelations. How can I change my hypocrisy? Do I want to?